I feel like garbage. My body is shakey, my body temp is high, dizzy, tired, and nacious... Its going to be worth it, just the detox symptoms.
I can do it!
I can do it!
I can do it!
All Or Nothing
A Pro-Ana Blog this is my journey
Thursday 12 January 2012
Fast Day 1
Tuesday 10 January 2012
7 day fast starting thursday
I am starting a 7 day fast on thursday and I could not be more excited. This isnt only to lose weight but also to eliminate my sugar/carb cravings, stop binges and get back om track. There will be moments in the day where I will want to give up ajd eat everything I can get my hands on however instead of giving into those cravings I will acknowledge them as only thoughts, feelings, not something I need to act upon. I am the type of person who is capable of doing anything I set my mind to. This fast I am going to put my heart and soul into completing, to prove to myself I can. Every fast or cleanse Ive ever done I gave up half way through.. Took the easy way out. That is why this one means so much to me. I can do this, I will do this!
Monday 2 January 2012
Mid-binge
Well so much for having a protein shake today and thats it.
Today so far:
Protein shake 130 cal
Banana 100 cal
Granola Bar 50 cal
Brownie 300 cal
Total 580cal and its only noon
Wtf is wrong with me. Why can I not break this cycle.
Currently I am at the gym trying to burn this shit off. I need to get a grip and stop hurting myself like this. All I want is a perfect body... A perfect life... Is that really asking much?
Sunday 1 January 2012
This is it
I can no longer fight this anymore. I am more obsessive when Iam eating "healthy" then when I am living my ana life. I gained weight because those around me were worried, because they were always trying to make me eat. The more they asked me to eat the more I wanted to starve myself. Now with my schedule changes this will be easier to manage. I want to look in the mirror and love my body, not see fat. I want to have 0% body fat. All muscle and bones. My whole life Ive struggled with my weight, my own family called me fat. The constant criticizm is what led me into ana. Its the only way I felt in control. My current weight is 125 lbs. I will be going to the gym 6 days a week 1-2 times a day as well as limiting my calorie intake, only consuming food when I have dizzy/fainting spells. That is when I know my body isnt lying to me, I know it actually needs food. I will keep posting how this all goes!